Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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