Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
