I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
