Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
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