remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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