Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
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