THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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