so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
