Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
whose parrot is this?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
