I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize