I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
