I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
