why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
