If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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