I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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