JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
