R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.