i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?