So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
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I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
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why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.