Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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