I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
In other news, I just burned my penis
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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