if you like me you must not know who I am
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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