Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
