i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
