I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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