i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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