He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
