Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
So vagazzling was a success
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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