He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
