Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
