wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I touched a dick in church today
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
