oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
