don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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