If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
you never un-have a 4some
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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