is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i came on her dog
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
