i don't like sucking hair
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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