And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
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