I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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