Apparently you make a good broom.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize