hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
