if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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