He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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