Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
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