i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
