I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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