Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
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the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
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I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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