I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.