Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats