i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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