Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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