No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i already hear my dad disowning me
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
