ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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