Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
