so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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