Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.