I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
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