So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
