I have demons in me.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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