Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
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